You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
