I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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