Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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