Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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