he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
