I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
