it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
