I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
