I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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