Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
