Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
