I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
