my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
meet me or not, i'm out of control
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
