Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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