Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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