Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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