It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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