Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize