i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
