something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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