im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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