Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
