sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
