She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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