oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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