Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
