heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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