Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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