We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
