This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
