You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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