who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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