So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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