ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
