I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
