His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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