Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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