Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
