Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
