This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
