I want to have your abortion
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
