At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
