absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
