Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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