Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
