Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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