four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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