hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
