Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize