My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
