I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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