im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
