i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
