He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
