some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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