I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize