I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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