I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
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