Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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