i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My feet surprised me
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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