Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
