thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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