I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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