just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
