those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
