you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
