I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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