the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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